(Yes, this shot is a background joke from I Am Legend. It's sort-of relevant here. Just go with it)
Warner Bros. has made me cynical about movies based on DC Comics. There is a Superman/Batman film coming soon, followed by the Flash, and then Justice League, and I'm not wetting myself with fanboyish glee, because their track record is so spotty. God damn you, Warner Bros., for making that happen.
Honestly, I feel like they're embarrassed by their superheroes. Like, they look at people with costumes and powers and feel they have to apologize for it, that they have to bend over backwards to make their characters seem 'acceptable' and 'mature'. Meanwhile, Marvel's putting together a space opera starring a green woman, a living tree, and talking raccoon whose first name is Rocket. I'm jazzed for Guardians of the Galaxy; it's weird and out there, but dammit, it's gonna be FUN. Warner Bros. seems scared of fun, like it's a dirty word. So let's take a look ahead at the upcoming DC projects and make our predictions, but first, let's look back at where DC has been in the modern era of superheroes and see just what made me into the cynic you read before you.
Batman and Robin (1997): No, it's not part of the modern era of superhero movies, but this movie is necessary in understanding the mindset of Warner Bros. They came out with a campy, over-the-top superhero flick and while it made money, it was positively eviscerated by critics and fans for being so campy and over-the-top. Now B&R is by no means a good movie, and is in fact quite a bad movie, but not as bad as it's been made up to be and not bad because of it's camp. Still, Warner Bros. took this as a sign that the superhero movie game was done - it was time to put away their toys and focus on something else, like Harry Potter. But then Marvel (or rather Fox and Sony) hit the world with their one-two-three punch of Blade, X-Men, and Spider-Man, and BOOM! Comic book movies are back in a big bad way! So Warner Bros., owning the rights to DC Comics, put a few flicks into production. The first to come out was actually a story they had been sitting on for a while and the results...well...
Catwoman (2004): I think internet producer Lindsay "Nostalgia Chick" Ellis put it best when she said that this movie "constantly assaults you with how awful it is". Originally intended as a spin-off from 1992's Batman Returns, the misguided, idiotic mess that is Catwoman ends up being its own animal...its own insultingly bad, atrociously ugly animal. I'd call it out for not being a good representation of female characters, but none of the characters work in any capacity, so...points there I guess. Whatever, Catwoman failed and the Warners wisely swept it under the rug to make way for something that wasn't a failure.
Batman Begins (2005): The goal of Begins was to put Batman - the character Warner Bros. was least ashamed of and easiest to fit into their "mature" and "cool" vision - back on the map and make him their poster boy again. It worked pretty well. Snark and cynicism aside, this is actually my favorite of the Dark Knight Trilogy. It's a very cool movie that laughs at Batman when appropriate but still sells the tragedy of his character and the gravitas that goes along with putting on a silly outfit and punching bad guys. Begins works and I still really like it, so good on ya, everyone who was involved in that picture.
Superman Returns (2006): This one does not work so much, but again, I don't think it's as bad as people make it out to be. Yes, there's a lack of visceral action and yes, it's weird that the Man of Tomorrow is made into a deadbeat dad. But y'know what it does have? A love for Superman and his world that shines onscreen. Lex Luthor is a big goofy mad scientist bad guy, but he works there. Lois being a jaded cynic in Superman's absence...makes no fucking sense, I can't defend that. And Superman himself? Well, he's...god, the more I think about it, the less I like it. Still, I admire the film for its optimism and hope. If this movie came out after Man of Steel, people would eat it up like candy. And that...kinda saddens me again.
The Dark Knight (2008): Ah, the Batman movie people needed but not the one they deserved. In all honesty, I can't fault Dark Knight too much because it's actually a good film. What I will fault it for is setting the tone for all DC movies to follow, because all DC movies now have to be as dark and grim and un-fun as Batman is. But I can't really blame the movie proper for that one, I'll instead blame Warner Bros., I guess. Or the fans that insisted it was the second coming (my 18-year-old self included). Or the movie proper anyway. Or no one, just chalk it up to bad luck. I don't know, I'm writing this while on little sleep. Get off my back!
Watchmen (2009): The 1987 comic of the same name that set the bar for what can be accomplished in graphic novels was designed by its writer - Alan Moore, the Great Bearded Wizard of Northampton - to be unfilmable. So, it wasn't. Instead, an adaptation that cut various details and changed some plot points from the original story was filmed and released and y'know what? It's pretty damn good. Unfortunately, Watchmen seemed to weird or out there for modern audiences, leading to a significantly lower box office than the Warners were hoping for. This may have effectively halted the production of movies of weirder, lesser-known comic books, but we'll wait and see.
Jonah Hex (2010): This is one of two DC movies that mystifies me. See, Jonah Hex is a character with a weird history, but if you're going off his modern incarnation, then it's not a hard translation to figure out: a grim, gritty, violent spaghetti western. Modern Hex is basically Clint Eastwood, plus the Warners love the dark and tortured heroes, PLUS you could make a decent western on a slim budget, so you'd think his movie would be a somber, down-to-earth, angry revenge story, right? WRONG! Screenwriters Neveldine/Taylor, the duo behind the Crank movies and Gamer, and director Jimmy Hayward turn in a loud, overdone, stupid action-adventure flick that barely has anything to do with DC's scarred cowboy. Audiences were turned off by Hex using Gatling guns attached to a horse and fans were confused as to why a western hero suddenly had the power to talk to the dead (seriously, why is that there?), and Hex became the biggest box-office bomb of 2010. Hopefully, somewhere down the line, someone good will take the reigns on Hex and make a film worthy of the character.
Green Lantern (2011): This is the other mystifying film for me. See, a lot of complaints about comic book movies (and adaptations in general) is that it doesn't have enough to do with the source material. Green Lantern is a fairly accurate translation of the legitimately good story arc Secret Origin by Geoff Johns and Ivan Reis, with similar beats, plot elements, and character arcs...and it still sucked. It all comes off as half-assed and derivative, as well as having some of the worst effects I've ever seen in a blockbuster. GL barely made its budget back and despite the hopes that it might make continuity for a Justice League picture, the Warners have, again, swept it under the rug. I doubt a sequel is in the works for this one.
The Dark Knight Rises (2012): The word I keep coming back in this movie is flawed. Aesthetically, it's outstanding; it looks great, it sounds great, and the actors are game for whatever the script throws at them. However, that script is so full of holes that it makes my head spin. Why does Batman take the blame for Harvey Dent's murders when they could just as easily blame them on the Joker? How can Bruce Wayne recover from a broken back by have a loose vertebrae pushed back into place? How did Bruce get from the Middle East to Gotham City (a city on lockdown by a terrorist group and the American military, mind you) with no money and no passport? It just...ugh. I'm glad Nolan's Batman movies are over, at least we won't have to hear that stupid growly Christian Bale voice anymore.
Man of Steel (2013): I gave my opinions on MoS in a previous blog post. Suffice it to say, my opinion on it has worsened over time. As a movie on its own, it's decent enough - it looks interesting, there's some good action, the acting is pretty spot on. But as a Superman movie, it fails to really capture Big Blue's warmth and humanity. The flick is cold and sterile and just doesn't feel like a Superman movie. Superman Returns felt more like a Superman movie. Hell, if you combine the best aspects of Returns (It's shameless optimism and reverence, plus the fact that Superman actually spends time SAVING PEOPLE FROM THE DISASTERS) with the best aspects of Man of Steel (its visual effects and fight scenes), you could have a pretty decent picture on your hands.
So that's where we've been. Now let's look down the road and see where we're headed, starting with...
Superman/Batman: I refuse to call it Superman vs. Batman since we don't even know if that'll be the plot yet (though it probably will). Honestly, it feels like Warner Bros's. laziest answer to "How do you solve a problem like Superman?" I can't wait to see the two of them brood at each other for two and a half hours! Ugh. Again putting aside my cynicism and snark, I can't really say much about this until we know who's playing Batman or who the villain's gonna be (though it's gotta be Luthor, right?) or what the plot looks like or even who's writing and directing it. It's just a promise on the horizon, a distant dream that may one day come to fruition, for better or for worse.
The Flash: For some, this is a headscratcher: Why make a movie about the guy who runs fast? Why does he get a two hour story to himself? To me it actually makes sense, and here's why: the Warners want their own Avengers, and y'know what? That's reasonable. It's reasonable to want to make a Justice League movie in a time when superhero movies own the box office. But you can't make a Justice League with just Supes and Bats, so you need to fill out the roster. Green Lantern already fell on his emerald ass, so what's the next logical option from DC's big seven Leaguers? The Flash! So, yeah, it makes sense that he'd be next on the roster. What I'm interested to know is how they're gonna do it. See, the Flash is a character who sort of defined the Silver Age of comics, one of the weirdest ages for superhero comics. He revels in weird science ideas like the time-traveling device called the Cosmic Treadmill (which is exactly what it sounds like) and loves to fight gimmicky villains like Captain Cold, Mirror Master, and Weather Wizard (who are exactly what they sound like, except about a hundred times more badass) (seriously, go pick up anything Geoff Johns has written and stars the Rogues, these dudes are awesome). So how are ideas like that going to come to life onscreen under the direction of cool, mature Warner Bros? Come 2016, we'll find out.
Justice League: Nothing to see here, nothing to say here.
Wonder Woman: Oh wait, there is no Wonder Woman movie because its apparently impossible to put out a superhero movie with a female protagonist. Seriously, it's not this hard to crack the code on the Amazon Princess, comic writers have been doing it for years. Hell, Wonder Woman appeared in her own animated feature and it was flippin' amazing. In fact most of the animated DC pictures are pretty great. Sod the live-action stuff, stick with the cartoons, you'll have more fun.
So that's my prediction for the future...well not quite a prediction, more of a general mess of my thoughts on upcoming pictures. Still, I felt good writing it, and I hope you felt...something reading it. Thanks for reading and I'll see you next time!
No comments:
Post a Comment